What a strange situation this is, I swear I had thought about it but nothing seems to fit, and yet the joyful atmosphere feels so different than what I'm used to that it could almost be a miracle.

- Stop repeating my name, it's getting boring. Where are we?
- You're in the hospital, honey...

Funny how the mind summarizes information. They're inside the hospital as much as I am, but "you are" indicates I'm the ill one.
Last I remember I was running down an alley, late for a date I had been dreaming with for a long time. Although I'm not proud, I was as excited as a kid in Christmas, waiting to find a full year's desire come true the morning after. Except that mine was a Life's...
She said her name. - I am your wife, my love. Do you remember? You were hit by a car. The guy said you came running out of an alley and he couldn't stop.
Ironic how Life shows you right and wrong.

- How long have I been here?
- Fifteen years, she said while the tear became a river, washing away that bit of youth still left in her smile.

I cannot help but feeling absolutely hopeless. I've lost the most important opportunity I could think of, almost half my life in a comma and this woman's been living at my side without the tiniest idea of how and why it all happened.
For the second time in my Life I started hating myself, every part of what I am, or was, or whatever. Suicide's the only fair end, that of a coward that only deserves to be remembered as one...

- The doctor says if the tests are OK you can come home and I'll bring you here every day for rehab.

Fifteen years and her eyes still glow with the Love they did so long ago. How could I ever repay such kindness and warmth, al the dedication...

Our first date. We went to the movies, don't really remember which. I was so fascinated with the beautiful, sexy and smart girl holding my hand. After dinner we went to the riverbank, it was pretty cold se we took refuge from the wind in a small wooden structure that was over there.
I loved that kind of nights and company.
A couple of hours after talking about each other's likes and dislikes, friends, family, pets, plans and dreams we ended up cuddling on a corner, and I asked her

- What would you like from me?
- All I want is to be loved...

Well, I must be 40 now, half a life still ahead. Rusty as my abilities may be I should be able to hide the truth that no one cares to hear anymore - they say you may not remember the entire day of the accident, you know? -. I'm sure in time I'll learn to love my wife as she deserves, I never really stopped liking her.

Call me hypocrite - you know you'd be right - but, lucky or not, fifteen years of playing poker with Death have earned me a chance to bury what's behind and have a fresh start. A fair enough deal for me...






......................................

Well, that's where I come in.
See, from the infinit roads open out there, I wanna pick 'em all.
Though, I understand, in the event that such disorder would emphasize this version of Me, the consequences...

So I've decided to live with this contradiction.
I have found that the process of looking for balance is the most enlightening experience. And so the most painful...
A logical analysis is easy and the conclusion's clear. And then the tiny little bit of madness smiles and a sparkle of masochism grants redemption and forgiveness.
The Human as a specie is a rational animal. We are usd, specially in some systems, to adore a search for higher power and knowledge, leading to a major loss of connection with our Human Nature.
Power isn't always good, knowledge isn't always wisdom.
It's a shitty life if I think of it this way, trying not to fall from the edge to frustration.
So I let this sort of know-it-all retard be my cover, he has learned to endure pretty well the pain I cause...

A dark path ahead, I can hear my footsteps...

Oh, it's not even midnight, I must have fallen asleep for a moment.
Hey, give me another drink. The night's young and the memory knows no mercy...

Cheers!




.......................

Desde el vacío se ve mejor
Lo caroscuro tan irreal
Las caras-diamante que me han prestado
Y el efímero destino terrenal
Las canciones que no habré escuchado
Porque feliz no he debido estar
Y tus murallas, tantos candados
los pasadizos, las relaciones,
piedras que ruedan, cabezas caen
En pensamientos vuelven dolores,
pero entre sábanas se está bien
Jamás lo quise, aunque sabía
jamás supiste que lo quería
jamás incluye tanta osadía
como para volver a mentir...
Y así el retorno nunca se acaba,
en espirales te vi girar
como una órbita personal
de la que nada, nada quedaba
Historias sin nombre...
Se hace fácil escapar
pero, imagino, no sería Hombre
si no me permitiera equivocar
Caminos llanos, piedras ajenas,
por no enumerar más
Si sale mal, entonces caigo,
pero me vuelvo a levantar...